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This past week Yahoo published an article from Flare Magazine called “10 things to know about your partner before getting engaged.” I was surprised to learn that personal finances and money management were not even in the top three criteria on the list. I personally believe that similar interests and philosophies regarding personal finances and money should be at the top of the list.
If we share similar interests, philosophies, and goals regarding money with our spouse then we will also share other similar interests. If our spending habits are similar to our spouses spending habits, we must also share similar life interests and other common thoughts.
Sharing complementary interests was on the top of the list at number one. We spend our money on our interests and therefore, the relationship will be a lot easier if we share common interests with our spouse. It would be hard to have one person in a couple who always likes to stay at home, while the other person always likes to be out on the town.
Having similar personal goals was number 3 on the list. I agree that it is very important to share future goals because we should always be working towards something. Personal goals should include financial goals such as buying a home and planning for retirement. My boyfriend and I couldn’t be more opposite in this category. I always like to be working towards a goal such as saving to buy a new condo, or planning our next vacation. My boyfriend is very happy paying one monthly bill as we rent our apartment.
Financial views finally made the list at number 4. I personally think that this should have come in at number 2 on the list instead of family baggage. Similar spending habits can make or break a relationship. I had a client come into my office this past week and remove her husband from all of their joint savings, checking, and investment accounts because he was excessively spending money. In my opinion, financial trust is just as important as fidelity and commitment.
Is your spouse supporting kids from a previous relationship? Was the question asked at number 5. Child support and alimony payments can account for a large portion of a person’s monthly income. We may be resentful if our spouse is spending money on his previous family, instead of saving for his future with his current family.
Sex, Ethics, and Addictions were also all factors that we should consider about our spouse before we get engaged. Can anyone guess what question came in at number 10? We should inquire if our future spouse has a past criminal record. This would definitely be on the top of the list for me. When I saw this I asked myself, when does sexual behaviour take precedence over having a criminal record? I would personally like to know about my boyfriend’s criminal past, (especially if it included anything such as identity theft fraud or money laundering) before I would like to know about his likes and dislikes in the bedroom.
Do you and your spouse have similar financial interests, goals, and money management habits?
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That’s funny! Oh Flare Magazine…
I would want to know if my boyfriend was a drug dealing crime ridden gangster before I date him! I think that would be my number one.
Common interests and goals is important, but I do agree that finances should be top three too!
It would suck to be the one diligently saving when your partner is spending his or her money away.
Actually, common interests and goals could have been together since they are similar. Financial interests must indeed be a priority. Number 3 would have been a good place but not higher in my opinion because what’s the point of sharing financial interests if there’s nothing else. As for the criminal report… Gosh! If you are worried your spouse might have one (and did not tell you) then it does not look good from the beginning!
@Youngandthrifty,
Absolutely right! As for the money saving, it is even more true knowing financial issues is the most common number 1 reason to divorce (I think sex comes second!).
Great post!! I definitely agree with everything you said. I love reading posts like this.
I just got engaged (yesterday!) after 3 years. I would definitely want to know about my now fiance’s criminal history before his family baggage. Complementary interests? Could’ve spared some spaces down on my list. Personal goals and financial views should’ve came in higher as well. I wonder if they asked people in relationships how they ranked this. They should’ve down a poll of how people ranked these
@Briana,
Wow, congrats! Is the wedding date determined yet? After 3 years, is there anything you would have liked to know before? I am not sure how they ranked this, but it is usually some kind of survey.
Congrats Briana. I wish you both all the best.
[...] for Young 20 Something Investors series. Before we decide to get married it is very important to talk about our finances with our spouse. We have to decide if we are going to merge our finances or keep them separate. [...]